Wayfarers of Veeshan

Ways to Freak Out of Your Roommate



* Pretend to talk bad about him/her while you are asleep. Use colorful language.

* Fill a fish tank with beer. Dump sardines in it. Name them. Drop in fish food everyday. After a week, insist he/she killed your fish. Demand money to replace them.

* Fake a heart attack. When he/she gets the paramedics, pretend nothing ever happened.

* Smile. ALL of the time.

* Leave a declaration of war on his/her bed. Include a list of grievances.

* Hide you dirty underwear in his/her closet. Accuse him/her of stealing them shortly before “finding” them in his/her closet.

* Every time he/she walks through the front door, announce you need a shower and leave the room.

* Put all of your books on the shelf with the spine facing the wall. Constantly complain you can never find the book you are looking for.

* Keep you fingernail and toenail clipping in a Ziploc bag. Pretend to eat them while watching movies. If he/she asks, simply state “There isn’t enough to share” before going to your room to “hide” the bag. Refuse any further discussion.

* Whenever your roommate leaves the bathroom after a shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.

* Every time your roommate walks in and you’re on the phone. Hang up immediately without saying anything and pretend you weren’t on the phone at all.

* Eat a bag of marshmallows before you know he/she is scheduled to leave the house. Spray two cans of whipped cream under his/her bed. Say you got sick and didn’t know where else to go.

* Tell him/her your identical twin will be visiting for a day. The next day constantly switch back and forth between two sets of clothes. Repeatedly tell him/her you and your twin never appear in the same place at the same time.

* Hang a large profile mirror in your room. Instruct him/her not to look directly into it or he/she will release the demonic forces from the other side.

* Constantly peek through a window the faces the back yard. Whisper to him/her “I know they’re all watching me.” Refuse to discuss it any further.

* Buy him/her a fake fur coat. While he/she is out, spray red paint on it and pin a note on it accusing him/her of buying fur and being an animal killer.

* Get someone to pretend to be from a clinic and leave a message with your roommate saying your test came back positive. Cough really hard and pretend to faint often.

* Make a voodoo doll and leave it in plain view. Ask your roommate for a lock of hair from the rear of his/her head.

* Make a chalk body outline on the kitchen floor and put police tape across the front door. If he/she asks, say “it’s not what you think” and refuse to discuss it.

* Buy 5 pairs of scissors and leave them everywhere in plain sight. Get hair clippings from your local beauty salon. Sprinkle them on his/her pillow while he/she is asleep.

* Trash the house when he/she is gone. Leave and return shortly after he/she is scheduled to come back. Look surprised and ask if he/she looked into the profile mirror in your room.

* Use costume paint to put a black mark on your arm and show it to him/her from afar. Everyday add another. After a week, announce that after all these years “it”is back.

* Buy a plant. Show it a lot of attention for a week. Throw if out while he/she isn’t at home but keep the pot in the same place. When he/she asked, insist you couldn’t take anymore of the verbal abuse.

* Have a fake $5 million insurance policy made that pays you if he/she dies. Leave it on the coffee table. Comment off-handedly that he/she is a hard really sleeper.

* Walk in the house and tell him/her “I have an extremely important message for you.” Pretend to faint and “forget” the message.

* Wear a cape and watch Superman every day for a week. While he/she is gone, lean a ladder against the house and lay on the ground, pretending to be hurt. Insist that Superman is full of it.

* Leave a card in his/her bed saying “I’m sorry. It will never happen again.” When he/she inquires, look to your left and right, then smile and say “Oh, nevermind.”

* Whenever he/she walks out to leave, loudly announce “Okay, guys. You can come out now.”

* Put up missing person flyers around town with a picture of your roommate on them. List his/her phone number as the contact number for the reward. Is he/she asks, mumble “those aren’t supposed to be up yet.”

* Set out cookies before bed and tell your roommate they are for the Sandman. Wake up early and take a bite of one of the cookies. When he/she wakes up accuse him/her of biting the cookie. If he/she says it must have been the Sandman, insist that you know the Sandman’s teeth marks and those are, in fact, NOT the Sandman’s teeth mark.

* Get a jar of jelly beans and label the jar “jumping beans”. Eat them and jump around. Get a jar of jelly beans and label the jar “dancing beans”. Eat them and dance around. Get a jar of jelly beans and label the jar “kill your roommate beans”. Eat them while smiling and staring at your roommate.

* Get an army of stuffed animals. Set up checkpoints around the house. Insist that the elephant spotted your roommate in a restricted area. Give him/her a $5 ticket. Confiscate something of his/hers until he /she pays the ticket.

* Sit in the same room has him/her and pretend to read the book of Helter Skelter. Use a highlighter and mumble inaudibly and say, “hmm, that’s good.”

Hang a large profile mirror in your room. Instruct him/her not to look directly into it or he/she will release the demonic forces from the other side.


* Trash the house when he/she is gone. Leave and return shortly after he/she is scheduled to come back. Look surprised and ask if he/she looked into the profile mirror in your room.


LOL that was great

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Lord of the Plane of Fear, Cazic-Thule cannot be confused for anything but a god of evil